What does forgive mean?

Lately we've been having a lot of discussions with our 3 year old about being honest.

Today, while I was sorting laundry, he came running into the room and stood and looked at me. I stopped what I was doing to see what he needed. 

After a bit of a pause he said, "I broke the frame with the picture of me and dad when I was a baby. I stored the pieces under my bed." Then, with big eyes he looked at me and said, "mom, what does forgive mean?" 

I have to give him credit for throwing that last statement in there. He knows I'm a softy and that would ensure he wouldn't get in too much trouble. 

I know he had put some thought into whether or not he should say anything. You don't hide a broken frame under your bed if you planned on accepting responsibility from the beginning. 

He recently ripped one of his wall decals while trying to move it. I found it wrinkled up in his closet afterward. We had a long talk about how being honest is a better way to go; that you'll usually end up in less trouble for something than if you lie about it first. I'm glad he decided to fess up about the frame. 

I asked him to go under his bed to collect the pieces. While he was under there, he said, "mom, aren't you glad I was honest?" He really does know exactly what to say to me. 

We sat down and talked about what happened. I thanked him for honest and told him he needed to be more careful. 

He and I have also been having discussions about how his actions affect other people. I told him that, because he was not careful (he was jumping on his bed and knocked the frame off his nightstand), he no longer had a picture of him and dad in his room. I also told him I was disappointed because it was a special frame I picked out before he was born. He apologized again. 

I know he knew what forgive meant when he asked, and I'm sure he was trying to ensure I didn't get too upset about the frame, but I hope he also learned something from my example. 

I hope that he continues to let us know when he makes mistakes, big or small, so that we can help him learn from them. Someday we won't be right there to provide guidance. I hope these lessons stick with him. 

Seven reasons I won't lose to my 3 year old on purpose

Last night, my 3 year old son and I were playing board games. He would occasionally try to choose cards that would put him in a better position to win, even though they were not at the top of the draw pile. I called him out on it every time.

I know many parents who purposely let their children win when playing games. After all, it's just a game, right? I will never be one of those parents. Here's why:

1. I want my child to learn to try his hardest at all times. I want him to understand that life is not always easy but that does not mean you do not try your best at everything you do.
2. I do not want my child to think he deserves to win every time. As much as I want my child to be happy, I also want him to learn that life is not always fair and even when we try our hardest, we don't always win.
3. I want my child to learn to how to handle his emotions when he loses. It is frustrating when you don't win and he needs to know how to handle that frustration.
4. It is important that my child understand how it feels to lose. That way he'll be more considerate of others when he wins.
5. It's not honest. If I allow my child to be dishonest with something as minor as a board game, he will think it is acceptable when something more serious comes along.
6. I want my child to be an adult with integrity. You don't earn respect by taking the easy way out.
7. I want my child to understand the joy of earning his own victories. That will go a long way toward teaching him to be a hard-working adult.